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Pease, an Australian expert in the body language, states that we transmit only 7% of information by words, 38% depend on our voice, intonation, etc., and the whole 55 % are allocated to our facial expressions, gestures, touch, and postures. In other words, it is more important not what we say by words, but how we say something.
Body language comprises significant movements of various body parts, with the help of which, like with the help of words, we can express our thoughts, feelings, ideas, and emotions. Kinesics is the science, studying the body language, specializing in hand and mimic gestures, movements of the head and legs, postures, and sign gestures. All these units of non-verbal communication are united in the concept of a gesture, which is defined as the rules for using the body capabilities, significant movements of hands, legs, body, and face. Let’s consider the meaning of several most essential body movements.
Evidence of the Lie
During the conversation, it is very important to discover the gestures that usually accompany the lie. When a person is going to tell the lie, his subconsciousness throws out a nervous energy, which manifests itself in gestures that contradict to what he sais. Psychologists say that a liar, no matter how hard he tries to hide his lies, can still be recognized, because it is shown by the lack of correspondence between the micro conscious signals of the subconscious, manifested in gestures and the spoken words.
When we observe or hear others telling lies, we can notice the gestures to closing the mouth, eyes or ears by hands. Protecting the mouth by the hand is one of the obvious gestures that clearly indicates a lie. Some people try to pretend to cough, masking this gesture. If such gesture is used by the interlocutor at the moment of speech, this indicates that he is telling a lie. However, if he covers his mouth with his hand at the moment when you speak, and he listens, it means he understands that you are lying.
Touching the nose is a sophisticated, disguised version of the lie gesture. It can be expressed in a few light touches in the dimple under the nose or be expressed by one quick, almost invisible touch to the nose. Men usually rub the eyelid very vigorously, and if they are going to lie seriously, then they look away or even more often, they look at the floor. Women are very delicate in this movement when they touch under an eye by the finger. When you see that the person is lying, you can ask him to repeat or clarify what was said. This will make the deceiver to abandon his cunning game.
The Way to Walk
According to rhythm, dynamics, and nature of movements by walking we can judge the state of health of a person, his character, his age, and his mood. To master the skills of reading the gait, it is possible to distinguish several characteristics:
- an anxious person walks as a ‘thinker’, the head is lowered, the hands are behind the back;
- a depressed man usually holds his hands in pockets, and, as a rule, he looks under his feet;
- a self-confident man walks quickly, waving his arms, the way as he has a clear goal and intends to achieve it;
- an arrogant person has a high-lifted chin, his hands move vigorously: the leader pacing.
If the person is sitting, turned away from others, and looks at the floor, this is the most typical gesture of disapproval. When the interlocutor constantly removes villi from clothes, this is a sure sign that he does not like everything said. The desire to end the conversation is commonly shown by giving the body forward, while the hands lie on their knees, or they hold onto the edges of the chair. If any of these gestures appear during a conversation, you should take the initiative in your hands and be the first to ending the conversation. This will allow you to maintain a psychological advantage and manage the situation.
By shaking hands, you can determine the partner’s attitude towards you. An imperious handshake gives little chance of establishing an equality relationship. This handshake is characterized by the fact that the hand stretched out for the handshake covers the partner’s hand on the top. This is a gesture of domination, which is typical for many successful and high-ranking people. A weak handshake characterizes a person who is ready to be a victim. If the partner quickly removes his hand, he is practical or suspicious. If the man avoids handshaking, he is timid or afraid of embarrassment.
Convincing a person of the opposite sex is much easier by attracting that person. In this case, the listener often sends signals that testify the desire to please. Since this is an extremely important point, it is necessary to decipher these signals.
For the man, the signals of sexual interest are:
- dressing up: smoothing his hair, straightening his tie, pulling down his collar, jacket, removing a non-existent speck of dust or dandruff from his shoulder;
- looking with an intimate gaze (to the chest and below) and delays a little longer than usual;
- widening of pupils when looking at the woman;
- laying the thumbs over the belt to focus on the areas of his genitals;
- when standing, holding his hands on the hips, unfolding the body to the woman, the toe of his foot is pointed to her side.
For women, if it comes to seduction, they are much more expressive, the men. So, their common gesture to attract attentions are the following:
- touching the hair;
- correcting clothes;
- giving prolonged gaze and making a rapid eye contact;
- shaking with hair;
- demonstrating of the smooth, delicate skin of the wrists (for example, during smoking, keeping a cigarette the way to expose the wrist in the direction of the man of interest);
- swinging the hips;
- giving a sidelong glance;
- slightly opening the mouth, moisturizing lips;
- rocking the toe on the toes and many other women’s tricks.
The aggressive gestures should be monitored especially carefully because they warn that the situation starts to get out of your control. So, if the index finger is tapping on the table, it means that he is the warning, just wait for a while. A less noticeable, but more dangerous gesture of aggression is scratching or stroking the hand palm by his fingertips. He illustrates the willingness to fight with an opponent. With this, the hands are most often raised to the chest level. If you notice that your interlocutor is increasingly using such gestures, be on your guard, try to do everything to shift the conversation subject to amend the situation. Show your friendly intentions, or, finally, postpone the conversation to the better times.
Finally, there are too many body signs in the conversation but don’t make hasty conclusions on one single gesture of the interlocutor. Wait for other signals to be sure in your hints. Pay attention first to all meaningful details and don’t try to find an evidence to the already formed first impression.